Treat research
I am conducting a rigorous, ongoing study into whether my next treat might be even better than my last.
Currently sniffing something
Treat connoisseur. Squirrel chaser. World-class sniffer. Amateur hole digger. Expert at sitting directly on top of people.
Read latest dispatch
LIVE FROM MY FIELDMY DAILY DISPATCH
I am grumbling because I can no longer access my brother Tiger's breakfast. To be clear, I was only eating it as a public service to make sure Tiger did not get fat. This important work has been misunderstood.
I'M OFF DUTY, STILL HANDSOMEYES, THAT SMELL IS ME
I'm equal parts athlete, investigator, and weighted blanket.
I approach life nose-first. I believe every walk should take twice as long as planned, every squirrel deserves a spirited chase, and every person is improved by having me placed squarely on top of them.
A person
All of it
Complex
MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE
My multidisciplinary practice spans snacks, fieldwork, personal fragrance, and advanced lap occupation.
I am conducting a rigorous, ongoing study into whether my next treat might be even better than my last.
I stay alert, focused, and completely certain that this time the squirrel will make a tactical error.
I read every lamppost like a newspaper. Every shrub contains breaking news.
I call it part landscaping, part archaeology, and part deeply personal calling.
My smell is not an accident. I have carefully cultivated a signature scent with remarkable staying power.
Why would I sit beside a person when I can sit directly, confidently, on top of them?
MY ARCHIVE
Selected documentation from my ongoing study of one extremely particular life: mine.



